Going to the Cemetery on Tisha B'Av

With Tisha B'Av coming up next week, read about one of the minhagim/customs observed. From Revach L'Neshama

The Rema (OC 559:10) says that there is a Minhag to go straight after davening to the Bais HaKvaros on Tisha B'Av. The Mogen Avrohom brings from the Arizal that one should never go to a Bais Kvaros unless it is for a Levaya. The reason is because there are bad spirits in the cemetery. The Mishna Brura says that based on this Mogen Avrohom, on Tisha B'Av one should go near the cemetery to fulfill the minhag but not into the cemetery in accordance with the Arizal.

The Nimukei Orach Chaim says that the Mogen Avrohom only concerns himself with the Arizal by Hilchos Tisha B'Av since Tisha B'Av is a time when bad spirits have the upper hand. The Taamei Minhagim says that Tisha B'Av is a particular danger because we do not learn Torah and therefore are more vulnerable. In fact many are noheg not to go at all.

The Piskei Tshuvos brings that the Chazon Ish would go to the cemetery on Tisha B'Av. Some years he would go in between the graves and other years he would stay by the entrance without going in. The Steipler Gaon on the other hand would never go in, and in his later years would not even go to the Bais HaKvaros at all, not on Tisha B'Av nor any other time of year.

Read more about Tisha B'Av on Jvillage's Holiday Spotlight Kit.
 

The Three Weeks Learning to Love What Is!

By Rabbi Label Lam

Moshiach is born on Tisha B’Av (Talmud)

Any generation in which the Temple was not built in (with) its days is considered as if it was destroyed in (with) its days. (Talmud)

There is no light like the light that emanates from darkness. (Zohar)

The 9th of Av is one of those days in which we allow ourselves to wallow in the misery of a brutal history and indulge in thoughts of the extended exile and our many sufferings. Admittedly, it seems ultra heavy and it is an ominous reality to meet face to face. What benefit do we have from this exercise? Why follow the black and hurtful lines of history when there are so many brighter and rosier points to visit?

I hope the situation never comes your way. It happened to me once and although I was woefully unprepared things happily turned out alright. What do you say to someone who is seriously contemplating ending it all?

Here’s a scenario I heard about from a very clever individual: Imagine that you are sitting in a reception area in a fancy office on the 77th floor of the Empire State Building. Suddenly the elevator opens and a gentleman with a disheveled appearance walks over to the window which he throws wide open. He backs up like he’s readying himself to take a running leap and before he does so you are able to halt him temporarily.

You ask him, “Why are you about to do such a crazy and foolish thing?” He shows you a piece of paper with a list of 49 items that he begins to recite aloud; 1) Lost my job 2) Wife left me 3) Broke 4) Hungry 5) Dog died 6) Chronic incurable diseases 7) Homeless etc. That’s just the beginning of the list and any single item would be enough to drive the average man over the top. He’s got the worst situation you ever heard of or imagined. You’re ready to agree with his morbid conclusion. What can you say to him?

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This evening at sundown begins The Three Weeks

Overview and laws of the period leading up to Tisha B'Av. From aish.com

The "Three Weeks" between the 17th of Tammuz and the Tisha B'Av have historically been days of misfortune and calamity for the Jewish people. During this time, both the First and Second Temples were destroyed, amongst other terrible tragedies.

These days are referred to as the period "within the straits" (bein hametzarim), in accordance with the verse: "all her oppressors have overtaken her within the straits" (Lamentations 1:3).

On Shabbat during the Three Weeks, the Haftorahs are taken from chapters in Isaiah and Jeremiah dealing with the Temple's destruction and the exile of the Jewish people.

During this time, various aspects of mourning are observed by the entire nation. We minimize joy and celebration. And, since the attribute of Divine judgement (“din”) is acutely felt, we avoid potentially dangerous or risky endeavors.

ASPECTS OF MOURNING DURING THE THREE WEEKS
 

1. No weddings are held. (However, engagement ceremonies are permitted.)
2. We do not listen to music.
3. We avoid all public celebrations -- especially those which involve dancing and musical accompaniment.
4. We avoid exciting and entertaining trips and activities. (Kaf HaChaim - OC 551:41)
5. No haircuts or shaving. (Fingernails may be clipped up until the week in which Tisha B'Av falls.)
6. We do not say the blessing She-hechianu on new food or clothes, except on Shabbat.

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17th of Tammuz: History, Laws and Customs

From Chabad.org

The Day Jerusalem’s Walls Were Breached

Begins at sundown July 14th

The fast of the 17th of the Hebrew month of Tammuz, known as Shivah Asar B’Tammuz, is the start of a three-week mourning period for the destruction of Jerusalem and the two Holy Temples.

The fast actually commemorates five tragic events that occurred on this date:

1. Moses broke the tablets when he saw the Jewish people worshipping the Golden Calf.
2. During the Babylonian siege of Jerusalem, the Jews were forced to cease offering the daily sacrifices due to the lack of sheep.
3. Apostomos burned the holy Torah.1
4. An idol was placed in the Holy Temple.2
5. The walls of Jerusalem were breached by the Romans, in 69 CE, after a lengthy siege. (Three weeks later, after the Jews put up a valiant struggle, the Romans destroyed the second Holy Temple on the 9th of Av.)  The Jerusalem Talmud maintains that this is also the date when the Babylonians breached the walls of Jerusalem on their way to destroying the first Temple.

Practically speaking:

• Healthy adults—bar- or bat-mitzvah age and older—abstain from eating or drinking between dawn and nightfall. Click here for exact times in your location.
• Pregnant and nursing women may not have to fast. Someone who is ill should consult with a rabbi. Even those exempt from fasting, such as ill people or children, shouldn’t indulge in delicacies or sweets.

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