Celebrate Holidays’ Uniqueness

Dasee Berkowitz in the Jewish News of Greater Phoenix


Some folks are taking the rare confluence this year of Thanksgiving and Hanukkah to heart, renaming it Thanksgivukkah, redesigning menus and refashioning ritual objects for the occasion.

Others are taking it one step deeper, celebrating how the combined holidays enable us to fully appreciate being both Jewish and American. It’s a perfect symbiosis: As we freely celebrate Hanukkah this year, we recognize that we directly benefit from the freedoms that were at the core of what brought the Puritans and Pilgrims to settle a new land.

But Jewish tradition doesn’t love conflating holidays. In fact, there’s a concept – “ein mearvin simcha b’simcha” – that we shouldn’t mix one happy occasion with another. No weddings during Sukkot or Passover – or any Jewish holiday, for that matter. At first glance it seems like a downer. Shouldn’t doubling up on our celebration just enhance our enjoyment?

For those of us with birthdays on Rosh Hashanah or New Year’s Day, we know that conflating celebrations doesn’t really work – one celebration usually gets lost into the other. Keeping celebrations separate enables us to be fully present for each.

So instead of conflating Hanukkah and Thanksgiving, let’s look at it another way: How can the unique aspects of each holiday help us more fully celebrate the other?

Thanksgiving teaches us to give thanks for the harvest and for all we have without the need to acquire more. How can that concept inform our celebration of Hanukkah, a holiday that has become overrun with gift giving that verges on the excessive?

Instead of being thankful for the plenty that so many of us experience – we mostly take the most basic things for granted, like waking up in a dry, warm bed each morning – we want more, and on Hanukkah we watch children tear through gifts wondering what else awaits them each night of the Festival of Lights.
Parents can help children appreciate that mom and dad’s presence in their lives can be present enough by giving the gift of time to their kids at Hanukkah.
Pick a night of Hanukkah and give your child a period of your undivided attention. Friends and significant others can also give each other the gift of an evening unplugged.

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Jewish Boston Celebrates Thanksgivukkah

On Thursday, Nov. 28, 2013, at the same time that Americans gorge themselves on turkey and weirdly textured cranberry desserts, American Jews will have another holiday to tend to also.

JewishBoston.com took its video camera to the streets to find out what the people of Boston think about Thanksgivukkah. They even went to Boston City Hall for a special interview with Mayor Menino!

If you cannot see the video here, click on this link.

Eight Giving Rituals for Your Family: Making the Most of Thanksgivukkah

by Stefanie Zelkind for eJewishPhilanthropy

From menurkeys to sweet potato latke recipes, there are many creative ways to celebrate this year’s unique overlap of Hanukkah and Thanksgiving. In an effort to move beyond the kitsch, I would like to offer some additional ideas for blending the Hanukkah tradition of giving with the Thanksgiving ideal of gratitude. Here are eight suggestions (sorry, I couldn’t resist) of how to use Thanksgivukkah as a launch pad for learning, giving, and values-based family activities.

During Thanksgiving dinner, take a “gratitude break.” Ask everyone to take a moment to think about the best gift they have ever received (Was it a tangible gift? Was it an experience? What is a key lesson learned? Who gave it to you? What made it so special?) as well as the best gift they’ve ever given (To whom? Why did you give it?) Go around the table and share. You may just learn that your daughter’s favorite gift was that quiet morning you spent snuggling together on the couch, and not the iPod Touch you got her last Hanukkah.

Make the tzedakah box the centerpiece on the table, and invite guests to give – a quarter, a dollar, or more – to a collective tzedakah pool. Over dessert, ask each guest to suggest an organization or cause to support and give a 60-second pitch explaining why it’s important. Then, talk about the different issues raised, hold a straw vote, and come to a shared decision about which organization(s) you’ll support. Don’t focus on the amount of money (although you may be surprised at how generous people are); it’s about the discussion and the feeling of giving together as a family. Thanks to my own family for creating and modeling this Thanksgiving tradition.

Dedicate each night of Hanukkah to an organization that inspires you. After you light candles, share a bit about the organization’s work with your family. Visit the website together, read a brochure, describe an experience you had, then make a donation to support their efforts.

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The December Dilemma

Hanukkah's proximity to Christmas has greatly affected the way the holiday is viewed.

By Dr. Ron Wolfson for MyJewishLearning


Early childhood educators tell us that one of the most crucial stages in socialization occurs when a child is between 18 and 30 months old and attends another child's birthday party.

When the birthday cake is brought in, most of the little guests try to blow out the candles right along with the birthday child. As the child opens presents, little hands start to grab for the toys. Why do you think "party favors" were invented? To help children begin to distinguish between what's mine and what's his/hers. Toddlers must learn the difference between celebrating one's own birthday and celebrating someone else's.

Thus many Jewish educators will advise parents to give their children who want to celebrate Christmas a very important message: Christmas is someone else's party, not ours. Just as we can appreciate someone else's birthday celebration and be happy for them, we can wonder at how beautiful Christmas is, but it is not our party.

And then many parents make a perfectly understandable, but incomplete, leap. "Christmas is for Christians. They have Christmas. We are Jewish. We have Hanukkah." In an attempt to substitute something for Christmas, the parent offers Hanukkah. In fact, Hanukkah is even better than Christmas. "Christmas is only one day. Hanukkah is for eight!" So now, incredible as it seems, the parental anxiety leads to the teaching that our party lasts longer, offers more presents, and is just as beautiful.

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This article is reprinted with permission from Hanukkah: The Family Guide to Spiritual Celebration (Jewish Lights Publishing).